¿Qué busco en la red?
Ni yo lo sé. Pero la hurgo, incansable, tratando de hallar eso que se me evade. Por hoy es suficiente. Será tiempo de dormir.
septiembre 09, 2003
septiembre 04, 2003
Maso-exhibicionista
Antes de decidirme a abrir al público este desvancito me puse a trabajar de un modo bastante idiota en otro blog, que se intitulaba La otra Rax. La idea era hacer una especie de libro de cabecera, donde hiciera listas y listas interminables. Alguna vez tuve un cuaderno así (hey, aún lo tengo! y la próxima vez que me agarren en mis cinco minutos, pondré algo de él aquí).
Lo malo es que las listas de ahí tuvieron problemas de acentos. Y para colmo, cobraron vida propia, y cuando quise hacer mi lista de mascotas, me salió una de mis encuentros con la muerte. Horror. Y eso que todavía no mataba a los peces de mi hermano (bua).
Así que dejé el proyecto más o menos por la paz.
Además, eso se podía parecer mucho a un chismógrafo -y me trae malos recuerdos.
Es que la situación es así: si soy totalmente sincera, tendría que escribir cosas muy muy muuuuy ñoñas... y otras francamente shoqueantes. No estoy segura de querer que la gente conozca todas esas cosas. Aclaro: pocas veces infringí la ley, jamás maté a nadie, y al único ser al que le hice daño intencionalmente fue a mí misma.
Pero de mis malos viajes y demás cosas, creo que es mejor que los mantengamos en un discreto y respetuoso silencio.
Y si, por el contrario, me pogno a escribir cosas que proyecten una imagen de misteriosamente cool o de rebelde con conciencia social o por lo menos de bien portada pero aventurera... pues me voy a despreciar por siempre porque ¿a quién quiero engañar?
Así que ahí está la otra rax, esperando mejores tiempos y mejores listas.
Antes de decidirme a abrir al público este desvancito me puse a trabajar de un modo bastante idiota en otro blog, que se intitulaba La otra Rax. La idea era hacer una especie de libro de cabecera, donde hiciera listas y listas interminables. Alguna vez tuve un cuaderno así (hey, aún lo tengo! y la próxima vez que me agarren en mis cinco minutos, pondré algo de él aquí).
Lo malo es que las listas de ahí tuvieron problemas de acentos. Y para colmo, cobraron vida propia, y cuando quise hacer mi lista de mascotas, me salió una de mis encuentros con la muerte. Horror. Y eso que todavía no mataba a los peces de mi hermano (bua).
Así que dejé el proyecto más o menos por la paz.
Además, eso se podía parecer mucho a un chismógrafo -y me trae malos recuerdos.
Es que la situación es así: si soy totalmente sincera, tendría que escribir cosas muy muy muuuuy ñoñas... y otras francamente shoqueantes. No estoy segura de querer que la gente conozca todas esas cosas. Aclaro: pocas veces infringí la ley, jamás maté a nadie, y al único ser al que le hice daño intencionalmente fue a mí misma.
Pero de mis malos viajes y demás cosas, creo que es mejor que los mantengamos en un discreto y respetuoso silencio.
Y si, por el contrario, me pogno a escribir cosas que proyecten una imagen de misteriosamente cool o de rebelde con conciencia social o por lo menos de bien portada pero aventurera... pues me voy a despreciar por siempre porque ¿a quién quiero engañar?
Así que ahí está la otra rax, esperando mejores tiempos y mejores listas.
septiembre 01, 2003
Clifford John Swindells
09/09/1972 - 28/08/2003.
Clifford was born in Springs on the 9th September, 1972. He was immediately faced with a medical emergency as his parents had incompatible Rhesus factors, his father being negative and his mother positive. Clifford was found to be negative. Had this not been the case then a total blood transfusion would have been required and Clifford’s life may have ended before it was properly started.
He was named Clifford John, these names being the second names of his grandfather and father. Later in life this created a problem when mail started arriving for Cliff as all three members of the Swindells family had the same initials – CJ.
During the first five years of his life, Cliff was subjected to a large number of moves – from a flat to a house; from Springs to Randburg; from Randburg to Alberton; from Alberton to Swaziland (where he had black playmates) and finally to Swakopmund in Namibia. Here he found four years of stability in an ideal environment for a young child. Possibly this frequent moving and having to make new friends may have influenced his ability to attract and retain many loyal friends as he got older.
Cliff started school in Swakopmund and proved early on that where educational and sporting matters were concerned he was a confirmed under achiever. On the sporting front there is a memorable photograph of him competing in his first race. Dead last by a large margin he nevertheless had an enormous smile on his face and clearly was enjoying the experience.
In Swakopmund he was able to travel into the desert with his parents looking for rocks and semi-precious stones, an activity that required sharp eyes and considerable patience, another of his strengths. He also learnt the pleasure of food, particularly on a Saturday morning at the Café Anton where he gained a lifelong interest in Coffee and Cheese Cake. He later became something of a Gourmet, especially where spicy food was concerned.
Cliff returned to South Africa with his parents in 1981 and settled into the new family home in Brackendowns, where he lived continuously until his death. Cliff attended the Glenwood primary school and then Bracken High where he maintained his educational standards. He also developed his first great passion – an interest in aircraft. In his early life there was never any problem with birthday presents as long as they were aeronautical in nature and he maintained an encyclopaedic knowledge of aircraft and things aeronautical to the very end.
By the age of sixteen, Cliff had started on his other great passion – for music. He also started clubbing and this led to many sleepless nights for his parents waiting for his return early in the morning. He was a very reliable child, however and always turned up more or less when scheduled and in good order. At this stage his major musical influence was the Cure, although with hindsight this choice appears to have been rather conservative. His major musical theme was punk and this also led to the extensive use of wood glue to create punk hairstyles. This avoided the need to have punk haircuts that the conservative management of Bracken High would have found unacceptable.
Having managed to matriculate, Cliff had to decide what to do next. At that time, national service was still in place, although a lot of boys were ignoring call up papers. Cliff decided to go to the army and this experience proved invaluable in two areas – an appreciation of life in the townships of the West Rand and an early exposure to computers as the regimental clerk, where he learnt about word processing and stock control. He also spent a number of months enjoying the pleasures of Upington.
Once out of the army he was again faced with the decision of what to do with his life. He decided to do three years at the AAA School of Advertising studying graphic design, after which he went into the computer industry as a support engineer. He has remained with the same IT organisation ever since, even as it went through various name changes and mergers, finally ending up as a division of Dimension Data. It is unclear as to whether this was a demonstration of loyalty or a lack of ambition. It was probably another example of his loyalty. Certainly Cliff regarded working as a necessary evil to ensure that he could continue to purchase music CD’s. Had he been of independent means a career as a full time muso would certainly have resulted.
It was also at this time that he gained access to a computer at home. He found that with a sound card and suitable programs it was possible to create his own music. He also became involved with his first group, the Electric Sheep. It is fair to say that the Electric Sheep were not a commercially viable band, but with the aid of tape recorders and CD burners they published a number of their own albums.
It is at stage that two versions of Cliff developed. At home he was quiet, spending hours in his room developing his music and becoming increasingly sophisticated in his techniques and a leading exponent of (non-commercial) electronic music in Johannesburg. Outside of the house was a different matter. The quiet studious musician became an extrovert with a large band of loyal friends whom he assisted whenever they were faced with difficult situations. On a number of occasions at home he could be heard talking gently to one of his friends as they attempted to resolve a personal matter.
Cliff was rapidly developing a reputation as an electronic musician of some talent. After the Electric Sheep there came WinterMute, more of a solo effort for Cliff, then the band Abstract Evil Barbie. Finally there was Atmosphere Control Unit, a much more serious undertaking with real instruments and experienced musicians playing them. This band was beginning to make a name for itself when Cliff was diagnosed with Leukaemia in April this year. A visit to the doctor for persistent flu symptoms turning into a death sentence.
Cliff faced up to Leukaemia with a very positive attitude, regarding the whole matter as something that would be over in six months, allowing him to get on with his life, although he accepted that some minor adjustments would have to be made to his lifestyle. It was during the first phase of his treatment that Cliff’s influence on his friends became apparent. On his first Saturday at the hospital he had no less than eighteen visitors, including five or six children, even though the regulations said a maximum of two visitors and no children. He was also inundated with books, CD’s, sweets and flowers. More importantly his friends continued to support him throughout this difficult time both by visiting him, calling him on his ever present cell-phone or sending SMS’s. Indeed the biggest crisis during his stay in hospital was when the charger on his cell-phone failed and had to be replaced very quickly to ensure a continuance of communications. Since each round of treatment involved five weeks in a single room, most of it in isolation, the availability of the cell-phone was a critical factor in maintaining Cliff’s positive attitude.
The first five week session was followed by a two week period at home and another five week session with chemo that was ten times stronger than the first. During this time Cliff spent two days in ICU. He got though the ICU experience and immediately button holed the hospital matron to make suggestions on how the level of nursing in the ICU should be improved. He also suggested ways of relieving the boredom of patients such as himself. MTV was probably discussed as an option.
He came home from the second session in a considerably weaker state and contracted a flu virus at the same time, requiring a visit to his GP. After ten days he was ordered back into hospital for a repeat of the second treatment. In his weakened state he did not have the same strength to withstand the treatment, with tragic results. Even at the end he regarded the final visit to ICU as yet another inconvenience and that he would soon be back in his room looking forward to his birthday.
Cliff showed tremendous bravery throughout the whole ordeal. It must have been apparent to him that the other Leukaemia patients did not have to undergo the same kind of treatment that he was and that this should be cause for concern. Nevertheless he continued to SMS the world and offer wry comments on life right up to and including his final stay in ICU. Unfortunately his cell-phone has now fallen silent and Cliff will continue only in the minds of those people who counted him as their friend.
He once said that death was the last great adventure – let us hope and pray that that is what he has found.
09/09/1972 - 28/08/2003.
Clifford was born in Springs on the 9th September, 1972. He was immediately faced with a medical emergency as his parents had incompatible Rhesus factors, his father being negative and his mother positive. Clifford was found to be negative. Had this not been the case then a total blood transfusion would have been required and Clifford’s life may have ended before it was properly started.
He was named Clifford John, these names being the second names of his grandfather and father. Later in life this created a problem when mail started arriving for Cliff as all three members of the Swindells family had the same initials – CJ.
During the first five years of his life, Cliff was subjected to a large number of moves – from a flat to a house; from Springs to Randburg; from Randburg to Alberton; from Alberton to Swaziland (where he had black playmates) and finally to Swakopmund in Namibia. Here he found four years of stability in an ideal environment for a young child. Possibly this frequent moving and having to make new friends may have influenced his ability to attract and retain many loyal friends as he got older.
Cliff started school in Swakopmund and proved early on that where educational and sporting matters were concerned he was a confirmed under achiever. On the sporting front there is a memorable photograph of him competing in his first race. Dead last by a large margin he nevertheless had an enormous smile on his face and clearly was enjoying the experience.
In Swakopmund he was able to travel into the desert with his parents looking for rocks and semi-precious stones, an activity that required sharp eyes and considerable patience, another of his strengths. He also learnt the pleasure of food, particularly on a Saturday morning at the Café Anton where he gained a lifelong interest in Coffee and Cheese Cake. He later became something of a Gourmet, especially where spicy food was concerned.
Cliff returned to South Africa with his parents in 1981 and settled into the new family home in Brackendowns, where he lived continuously until his death. Cliff attended the Glenwood primary school and then Bracken High where he maintained his educational standards. He also developed his first great passion – an interest in aircraft. In his early life there was never any problem with birthday presents as long as they were aeronautical in nature and he maintained an encyclopaedic knowledge of aircraft and things aeronautical to the very end.
By the age of sixteen, Cliff had started on his other great passion – for music. He also started clubbing and this led to many sleepless nights for his parents waiting for his return early in the morning. He was a very reliable child, however and always turned up more or less when scheduled and in good order. At this stage his major musical influence was the Cure, although with hindsight this choice appears to have been rather conservative. His major musical theme was punk and this also led to the extensive use of wood glue to create punk hairstyles. This avoided the need to have punk haircuts that the conservative management of Bracken High would have found unacceptable.
Having managed to matriculate, Cliff had to decide what to do next. At that time, national service was still in place, although a lot of boys were ignoring call up papers. Cliff decided to go to the army and this experience proved invaluable in two areas – an appreciation of life in the townships of the West Rand and an early exposure to computers as the regimental clerk, where he learnt about word processing and stock control. He also spent a number of months enjoying the pleasures of Upington.
Once out of the army he was again faced with the decision of what to do with his life. He decided to do three years at the AAA School of Advertising studying graphic design, after which he went into the computer industry as a support engineer. He has remained with the same IT organisation ever since, even as it went through various name changes and mergers, finally ending up as a division of Dimension Data. It is unclear as to whether this was a demonstration of loyalty or a lack of ambition. It was probably another example of his loyalty. Certainly Cliff regarded working as a necessary evil to ensure that he could continue to purchase music CD’s. Had he been of independent means a career as a full time muso would certainly have resulted.
It was also at this time that he gained access to a computer at home. He found that with a sound card and suitable programs it was possible to create his own music. He also became involved with his first group, the Electric Sheep. It is fair to say that the Electric Sheep were not a commercially viable band, but with the aid of tape recorders and CD burners they published a number of their own albums.
It is at stage that two versions of Cliff developed. At home he was quiet, spending hours in his room developing his music and becoming increasingly sophisticated in his techniques and a leading exponent of (non-commercial) electronic music in Johannesburg. Outside of the house was a different matter. The quiet studious musician became an extrovert with a large band of loyal friends whom he assisted whenever they were faced with difficult situations. On a number of occasions at home he could be heard talking gently to one of his friends as they attempted to resolve a personal matter.
Cliff was rapidly developing a reputation as an electronic musician of some talent. After the Electric Sheep there came WinterMute, more of a solo effort for Cliff, then the band Abstract Evil Barbie. Finally there was Atmosphere Control Unit, a much more serious undertaking with real instruments and experienced musicians playing them. This band was beginning to make a name for itself when Cliff was diagnosed with Leukaemia in April this year. A visit to the doctor for persistent flu symptoms turning into a death sentence.
Cliff faced up to Leukaemia with a very positive attitude, regarding the whole matter as something that would be over in six months, allowing him to get on with his life, although he accepted that some minor adjustments would have to be made to his lifestyle. It was during the first phase of his treatment that Cliff’s influence on his friends became apparent. On his first Saturday at the hospital he had no less than eighteen visitors, including five or six children, even though the regulations said a maximum of two visitors and no children. He was also inundated with books, CD’s, sweets and flowers. More importantly his friends continued to support him throughout this difficult time both by visiting him, calling him on his ever present cell-phone or sending SMS’s. Indeed the biggest crisis during his stay in hospital was when the charger on his cell-phone failed and had to be replaced very quickly to ensure a continuance of communications. Since each round of treatment involved five weeks in a single room, most of it in isolation, the availability of the cell-phone was a critical factor in maintaining Cliff’s positive attitude.
The first five week session was followed by a two week period at home and another five week session with chemo that was ten times stronger than the first. During this time Cliff spent two days in ICU. He got though the ICU experience and immediately button holed the hospital matron to make suggestions on how the level of nursing in the ICU should be improved. He also suggested ways of relieving the boredom of patients such as himself. MTV was probably discussed as an option.
He came home from the second session in a considerably weaker state and contracted a flu virus at the same time, requiring a visit to his GP. After ten days he was ordered back into hospital for a repeat of the second treatment. In his weakened state he did not have the same strength to withstand the treatment, with tragic results. Even at the end he regarded the final visit to ICU as yet another inconvenience and that he would soon be back in his room looking forward to his birthday.
Cliff showed tremendous bravery throughout the whole ordeal. It must have been apparent to him that the other Leukaemia patients did not have to undergo the same kind of treatment that he was and that this should be cause for concern. Nevertheless he continued to SMS the world and offer wry comments on life right up to and including his final stay in ICU. Unfortunately his cell-phone has now fallen silent and Cliff will continue only in the minds of those people who counted him as their friend.
He once said that death was the last great adventure – let us hope and pray that that is what he has found.